Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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