you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
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I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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