We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
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