Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.

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  (614): I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on. http://tfl.nu/pnve
  Replies (11) Good night (678) Bad night (2104)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Without porn, I would have few hobbies.

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  (308): Without porn, I would have few hobbies. http://tfl.nu/e9r7
  Replies (5) Good night (906) Bad night (1656)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.

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  (502): I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away. http://tfl.nu/vvbq
  Replies (4) Good night (3098) Bad night (768)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.

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  (917): Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses. http://tfl.nu/c9p5
  Replies (30) Good night (4018) Bad night (870)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy

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  (608): the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy <3's balls" is written in sharpie across my forehead http://tfl.nu/cffy
  Replies (24) Good night (1719) Bad night (4731)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.

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  (480): you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you. http://tfl.nu/te9w
  Replies (20) Good night (4714) Bad night (728)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

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  (416): you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night http://tfl.nu/f5gl
  Replies (92) Good night (33205) Bad night (2051)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it

  (917): View more from New York City

  the suitcase or the dildo?

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  (312): i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it (917): the suitcase or the dildo? http://tfl.nu/j1en
  Replies (39) Good night (10409) Bad night (1751)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.

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  (912): Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane. http://tfl.nu/mwfa
  Replies (4) Good night (1951) Bad night (951)
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  (530): View more from California

  I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"

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  (530): I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting" http://tfl.nu/k1xw
  Replies (7) Good night (2155) Bad night (1035)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night

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  (615): No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night http://tfl.nu/p85n
  Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (781)
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  (+69): View more from

  You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.

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  (+69): You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow. http://tfl.nu/jkt0
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (2091)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs

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  (941): Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs http://tfl.nu/r0oh
  Replies (13) Good night (2945) Bad night (524)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.

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  (620): I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender. http://tfl.nu/s55r
  Replies (5) Good night (1648) Bad night (532)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head

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  (678): I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head http://tfl.nu/w84k
  Replies (3) Good night (301) Bad night (213)

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