He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You are a genius and a whore.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
