Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis http://tfl.nu/alsr
  Replies (18) Good night (3175) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to http://tfl.nu/r2n2
  Replies (25) Good night (533) Bad night (3505)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (478): yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way" http://tfl.nu/67ib
  Replies (8) Good night (4551) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this http://tfl.nu/0jv4
  Replies (30) Good night (5232) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever. http://tfl.nu/iaa1
  Replies (29) Good night (1070) Bad night (6563)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling. http://tfl.nu/0who
  Replies (12) Good night (1248) Bad night (5661)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/k4yz
  Replies (4) Good night (4611) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Thursday nights need to stop happening to me. http://tfl.nu/p744
  Replies (8) Good night (2372) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants. http://tfl.nu/zsuu
  Replies (2) Good night (1199) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters? http://tfl.nu/uly0
  Replies (3) Good night (2300) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days. http://tfl.nu/soru
  Replies (9) Good night (2908) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (574): It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me http://tfl.nu/pd5w
  Replies (8) Good night (1476) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase... http://tfl.nu/38c4
  Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm" http://tfl.nu/0r7n
  Replies (4) Good night (665) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it http://tfl.nu/h8wz
  Replies (2) Good night (521) Bad night (260)

Randomize