he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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