did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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