a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize