..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
