it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
