Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm at about main and main street
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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