Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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