You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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