I molested 6 butterflies tonight
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I would fuck him just for his dog
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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