I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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