For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have already put on my inside pants.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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