no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize