I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
