so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So vagazzling was a success
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
