sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
