I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize