she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
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My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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