Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
