i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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