dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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