I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
