did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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