no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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