Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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