Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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