please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
