you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
