I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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