R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
