Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
