I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
