She's JV to your varsity
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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