am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
