What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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