That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
