No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
