I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
