My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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