I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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