So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
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This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
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I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize