the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize
