My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
