Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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