About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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