Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
