grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
