My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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