He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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