i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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