the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
