And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
