"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
