I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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