I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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