but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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