I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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