I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
